You learned me not to cry. You see? I’m not crying! Even if I’d do anything to can do it. But no. There’s another way to calm myself. I need a cigarette. Maybe it’s one of the few moments when I really want it.
Strange feeling. Maybe you know that kind of moments. It’s the moment when you feel like you can lose it all, all you have and all you can ever have. For what? For no matter what. You feel like you can’t talk, you can’t cry, you can’t move. You can’t even think. You are a dead alive.
And now…you wish maybe just one thing. You wish that you ‘d have a nightmare. And…after some time you can wake up. You can wake up and fix up all the things you could’t by now. And you can learn to never make mistakes. But now… you don’t know what you can do. It’s so strange. And, God, it’s so fucking painful. It’s a horrible feeling.
Maybe…or..for sure you’re never forget this day. You can’t forget it, no matter what happens next.
E seara..e parca aceeasi atmosfera..Dar acum..te simti altfel. Esti diferita acum. Acum ceva timp ai hotarat ceva, ceva important pentru tine. Ai hotarat sa te schimbi. Sa fii alta persoana. Sa renunti la ceva ce era important pentru tine, ceva ce te ajuta sa te relaxezi, sa reflectezi asupra problemelor cu mult mai mult calm, dar..ceva ce incet incet te distrugea. Era drogul ce de atatea ori te ajuta sa tii capul sus. Dar nu. Poti si fara. Stii cat de puternica poti fi oricum. Stii ca ai pe cineva care merita orice schimbare. Acum trebuie sa te concentrezi la multe altele. Ai un viitor in fata. Ai filmul vietii tale al carui regizor esti chiar tu. Si da, rolul principal il ai tot tu. Asa ca esti singura care poate schimba filmul in bine sau rau.
E iarna. Dar simti ca iarna asta poti face orice. Stii ca poti. Poti schimba frigul de afara in aburi de iubire, cu care sa dezgheti orice-n calea ta, sa iti faci drum spre visul tau, sa schimbi totul in favoarea ta, asa cum ti-ai dorit intotdeauna.
[Timpul trece, ma lasa rece / Pe dinauntru am ramas la feeel]
Finally, that’s your birthday, right? Is so strange this feeling, maybe unknown for you…am I right? Well…I think that yes.. Now the words „birthday” or „happiness” have another meaning. You never thought that this could be real, that you can have all that you’ve dreamed of. But honey, don’t forget. That’s not a dream anymore. That’s the reality now. ….But..that’s another thing that you have to remember. You have to fight to keep this dream turned into reality. ‘Cause honey, you have just one chance to do something, and …time never goes back!
And…finally..now you know something.. you know how beautiful it’s to be happy, to smile without certain reason, just thinking of him. And you know what’s the most beautiful thing? Now you know how it is to feel loved. Yes, you’ve found the right word. You give love. You receive love. That’s amazing. The most beautiful feeling of the world.
And..you have noticed something? He’s the only person who really changed you. You’ve noticed this? You’re different now. Now you have a reason to go on, to leave all the bad things behind, to start a new life.
Well..you are so lucky, right? Now you have all, yes, you have all that you need!
Ma gandesc la tine, la mine, la noi doi si fara sa vreau zambesc ♥ !